My Dream

What do i want?
I ask myself everyday
What do you want?
They ask me too
My response to them sounds like a perfectly thought out future
Just for me
But i realise how caught up i've been in their plans
And their dreams
And their aspirations
For me
That i've forgotten the thing that drove me
The thing that made my heart reel with passion
Somehow, it all feels like what i've always wanted
Aligns with what they want
But every step feels like walking on hot coals
Every single step hurts more than the last
And all i really want
Is to take steps back
Steps back to finding out the purpose of my existence
But that is too much to ask
What i do want
I don't know any more
I'm too caught up
Trying to make their plans mine
Trying to remember what it feels like
To be excited with passion for something
But i have forgotten
What it feels like
And i don't know
If i'll ever remember
Because the feeling feels so strange
And i think i'm a bit lost
In all this
I should probably find myself
In all the chaos
Which is really just mg confusion
About what the future really holds for me
Only a higher power can help me now